Glossary / Lexicon

False self it is when good-enough mothering is not available in infancy, children may act as they believe they are expected to. Basically, they adopt their mother’s self rather than develop their own. False self is used in contrast with the True self.

In psychology, the term "false self" refers to an adaptive coping mechanism that individuals may use to cope with social situations and relationships by presenting an idealized or false version of themselves that is different from their true self. This false self is often created in response to external pressures, such as societal expectations, or as a way to protect oneself from rejection or criticism.

Here are some examples of false self:

1. A person who feels pressure to conform to societal expectations of success and perfection may create a false self that presents a highly accomplished and polished image, even if it doesn't reflect their true feelings or experiences.
2. A person who has experienced trauma or abuse may develop a false self as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from further harm. This false self may present a calm and collected exterior, even if the person is experiencing intense emotional distress.
3. A person who feels insecure or inadequate in social situations may create a false self that is outgoing and confident, even if they don't truly feel that way.

While creating a false self can be a helpful coping mechanism in some situations, it can also lead to feelings of disconnection from one's true self and others. Over time, it may become difficult for individuals to distinguish between their true self and their false self, leading to anxiety, depression, and difficulties in relationships.